Three Poems

I have been editing some of my old poems (and some new ones too) and here is the result:

Hope

Do not fret and do not fear
These sounds of night, these scary frights
Which cannot be here to stay

Take hold of what is most dear
For, with the dawn comes Light. Yes, Light
To scatter monsters away.

Untitled

All good roads lead on to the sea
Forever my heart is there in search of thee
Cursed to wander the endless beaches
Hearing the many voices' chorus;
Gulls crying, the oceans sighing
Unmatched in their beauty
But for the beauty I’d had in thee

Untitled (unfinished)

She dances by moonlight with flowers in her hair,
Clad in silver beauty and raiment, oh, so white
Are such flowers worthy to grace one so fair?

Her voice sweet music, causing my heart to long
for the unattainable. Like the dawn shatters night,
I am made undone by the pure sound of her song.

With bright eyes, shining clear in the night,
A smile as radiant as the Morning Star,
Locks golden red which serve to remind me of that which men are.

Mortals whose eyes are not counted worthy her beauty to see
And yet, here I, mortal though I art,
Gaze entranced upon her though possessor of immortal beauty is she.

I once saw a fair maiden in a woodland glade;
How could I return to a world made of dust and decay
With the mere thought of her which is likened unto a taste of beauty imperishable?

She dances by moonlight with flowers in her hair,
Singing as the world passes her by without a care.
Can one such as I hope to catch even a smile?

The memory of beauty, my desire cannot even begin to fill,
If a single smile I should possess,
I would count myself forever blessed. Thus, hope I will.

Alien Nation

Sitting at home on a Wednesday night halfway angry at the world halfway feeling sorry for myself in the most selfish of ways.

I peruse the Interwebs in search of some consolation; I figure I can find something to vindicate my present attitude.  Suddenly reality gives me a huge slap in the face.  I search a dark-humor site of people that post "funny" snippets of their lives but are really just venting to a world that doesn't care except in the utility of their problems' comic value.  As I am searching so I can laugh and enjoy other's misfortune I come across this:


"Dear Dad, 
Please stop coming into my room in the middle of the night.

Sincerely, Anonymous." 

Clarity returns; vision is no longer clouded by self-delusion and self-pity.  I have no idea if the above statement is some real person crying out for help among strangers caught up in their problems of their own, or if it is just some colossal asshole making light of a very serious issue.  I have no idea how stop this.  I have no idea who to inform.

My heart breaks; my blood boils.  This cannot stand! How can this be?  But in five minutes, I will go back to loving only me.

An Old Prayer on Abject Poverty

February 2, 2010

Lord God,

I am filled with such wickedness: my relationship with you and with others is in shambles. I hate the sin and disordered desires that are within me, but only sometimes. I believe that my sin is evil, unholy, and wrong, but only sometimes...

Lord, help my unbelief.

My mind is poisoned. I cannot think straight; my perception of the way the world actually is has become twisted and skewed. The world bears your glory and instructs us in right actions, but does not speak the same to me as it used to. I have a false perception of the way the world is. Does this make me insane? My mind is broken and shattered... discontinuity of action and belief is my only constant.

Lord, renew my mind.

My heart is heavy and weary. I grow tired of guilt and shame. I am weak from futile self-struggle. I am unworthy to ask anything from you, but I have nothing, I am destitute. If my mind is broken, my desires undisciplined, and my heart weary, what do I have left? What do I have to live for?

Holy Trinity, help me find rest. Be my rest.

I have shamed your name, spent the gifts you have given me, and am left in a state of brokenness, yet you run to me and embrace me as your son.

"Christ our God, who art one with the Father and the Holy Spirit, who trampled down death by death, save us."

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.

New blog, same old story

I am starting this blog to replace my old one because I did not like the title. Now this is not a change of shirts or taking off dirty underwear, it's about what I meant when I said "neo-orthodoxy." I can no longer agree to that name because the truth is not new. Truth is revealed to us and we can actually apprehend it, but it is not a new thing. Orthodoxy, meaning "right belief," is not new. There is a correct way to believe and correct things to believe, this blog is about searching for that.